Every Journey Starts

… with a first step. Every blog starts with a first entry.

Work, Work, Work … That's on my mind and yet I don't seem to be getting anything done. Right now I feel paralyzed because I have too many projects.

Starting a blog is the most irresponsible, time wasting activity I could think of right now.

I'm doing it anyways because I need to write to get clarity.

My current situation:

I am 42 years old, happily married, three children.

I'm the CEO of a family owned business with about 35 employees.

Most employees are doing a great job and we can be proud of what our team is accomplishing. However, during the last 3 years, some very important people have been either sick, taking family time or simply quitting. They left wounds in our company's structure and we as a team and especially the family are trying our best to keep the company running and keep the customers happy.

My father is turning 70 in a month. After working hard since his teenage years, he is finally reducing his work hours.

My wife is doing a wonderful job taking care of the household, the children and on top of that, she works 3-5 hours per day in our business. The stress has gotten to her and a recent vertigo attack was her body's way of telling her to slow down, literally forcing her to lie down.

My sister has two kindergarten age kids and works about 20 hours. After another employee told us she has to undergo surgery right during the painfully long German vacation times, my sister told me how she cries at night and that she has been seeing a psychologist specialized in burnout-patients.

The is not the only one in our company suffering and this makes me like a failure. I'm the CEO and it is my responsibility to keep things organized.

What am I doing wrong?

• Is it my work ethics? I love taking the most complicated route. (As I am typing this, I'm trying to install ruby middleman on my laptop to make a nice blog) That can lead to fun projects that can be categorized as procrastination.
• Am I doing the right things?
• Am I doing the things right?
• Am I a good manager?
• Am I a good leader?